Really listening...really!

As you have read, much of Levine’s work depends upon having a keenly developed ability to listen. Often, we are so busy developing our own stories, we fail to listen actively to that which we are being told, intent only on verbalizing our own personal stories. Think about the last time you “really listened” to someone else and gave them time to “get their story out”. How different was that experience from your normal communications? What did you learn? Record your experiences in this RB. If you are unable to recall such a situation, find a time/place this week to practice active listening and report on that.

Listening is a skill that is perhaps the most misunderstood in today’s business culture and culture at large.  Headlee (2016) provides some great points of what are common mistakes that people are likely to make while trying to listen.  Among the major points given are recommendations to not pontificate when responding or conversing on a topic, or not to launch into one’s own anecdotal riff when the speaker is telling a particularly personal story in effort to sympathize. The most “important” point the speaker provided was that listening is the most paramount to the art of conversation.

Although not perfect, I do pride myself on being able to listen to those who are in need of a sympathetic ear.  A co-worker was in such need a few months back, so we took a moment to find a quiet area to chat around the office.  Once settled in and comfortable, I became quite focused on the conversation to the point that our 20-minute chat went a whole 65 minutes.    

A few things I did recall about the conversation – I was very calm, and my body language was very “quiet”, which means I was attentive and not distracted with phones or people passing by.  I do remember only asking clarifying questions when the opportunity arose.  Lastly, when asked what I thought, I tried to keep my comments brief and short because it simply felt appropriate to let that person explain themselves. 

Only when the person sort of sat back in their chair did I realize they were finally done in getting “everything out”, meaning that body language is the something that should be noted and “listened to”. 

In the end, I was simply helping a co-worker that I have a tremendous amount of respect for.  Their expressed gratitude was indeed a good reminder that listening can be a great personal and business asset.    

Headlee, C. (2016, March 08). 10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee. Retrieved October 02, 2017, from https://youtu.be/R1vskiVDwl4  (Links to an external site.)